Thursday, 2 October 2008
I woke up feeling irritated and lonely.
I had the intention to go find them for breakfast but i just slpt through the morning till its time to wake up because i told myself that time is best spent slping than eating breakfast. I happily ostracized myself, have my own personal time in my dreams before going to school and continue to feel and be alone.
I am starting to hate getting into my clique. Not that i don't like them. i decided that 4 is a good number, not 5. I duno why they have so much time to spend (or maybe not) but i have to be stuck in school almost every afternoon, doing work and doing more work, going home late, feeling slpy and shagged but i still have to complete alot of homework. But all these are necessary because i am too stupid. I know it is really dumb to cry when i hear them hesitating whether to go where after school and have their own plans to go buy this or that and they try to include me. maybe nobody noes what is the point i am driving at but its alright. i feel the distance that separates me from them recently even though we are friends. I felt really depressed in school today but doing math makes me feel alot better. Its good sometimes when work makes me focus and forget about all the unhappy things. It is hard for me to open my mouth and tell the whole world about what's troubling me. Hiding everything would be the best because i don't want to make anyone angry or disappointed.
Friendship is such a fragile concept. Being more manly makes things even harder for me to confide in the same gender because of the different views and mindsets.
Nvm, it is no point saying all these.
I had the intention to go find them for breakfast but i just slpt through the morning till its time to wake up because i told myself that time is best spent slping than eating breakfast. I happily ostracized myself, have my own personal time in my dreams before going to school and continue to feel and be alone.
I am starting to hate getting into my clique. Not that i don't like them. i decided that 4 is a good number, not 5. I duno why they have so much time to spend (or maybe not) but i have to be stuck in school almost every afternoon, doing work and doing more work, going home late, feeling slpy and shagged but i still have to complete alot of homework. But all these are necessary because i am too stupid. I know it is really dumb to cry when i hear them hesitating whether to go where after school and have their own plans to go buy this or that and they try to include me. maybe nobody noes what is the point i am driving at but its alright. i feel the distance that separates me from them recently even though we are friends. I felt really depressed in school today but doing math makes me feel alot better. Its good sometimes when work makes me focus and forget about all the unhappy things. It is hard for me to open my mouth and tell the whole world about what's troubling me. Hiding everything would be the best because i don't want to make anyone angry or disappointed.
Friendship is such a fragile concept. Being more manly makes things even harder for me to confide in the same gender because of the different views and mindsets.
Nvm, it is no point saying all these.
19:43
