Friday, 6 November 2009
Unproductive mugging is cursed. Travelling is cursed too.
Talked to yisheng about many things over dinner today.. Its like so natural to HTHT with him I have no idea why. He just kept telling me things haha. But its alright, some people communicate this way I guess. Also don't know why he trusted me so much, we are not that close. Whatever it is, shall wish him all the best and hope his problems get resolved asap.
Hearts to IRC.. If only it could open till 11:30pm for me to study.. I would gladly stay there till its time to catch the last 52 home. Its so hard to study GEK1527. If i have zero knowledge, I would tell myself to go through every single thing. Now that i know most of the things, I am quite lost. Ayee, i guess i will just do practice questions already. no mood to read and re-cap or what. haven study 1101, 1131 and 2227. geography is disaster. I can't apply my knowledge to the questions. Whatever Harvey thought was easy, I did the difficult way. I suck at argumentative essays, I go by intuition and usually, it would mean that it is hard to argue because I am too random and my thoughts are immature. I must not let my heart rule my mind anymore. Its time to let my mind take over my heart decisions. I will probably do well during exams this way.
I hate myself for behaving so abnormally. I am like schizophrenic la. My feelings are too extreme, and I am super confused. Ayee, its very bad if I keep thinking about it. I KEEP THINKING DEEPER INTO AN ISSUE WHEN TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. Words keep replaying in my head when my mind is not occupied with something else. I feel tired thinking but my mind just can't stop thinking. Whats that man? withdrawal symptom? I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.. I have a damn big problem of always torturing myself unnecessarily. WHY SO STUBBORN :( damn this whole incident. Fuck the flu. Argh.. I don't know what to say anymore. FUCK, GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM RIGHT NOW. I still feel angry of god knows what. things are cleared but I can't put it behind me.. every single time, it reminds me of unhappy moments. I fucking can't forgive even though I really want to. Everything is damn big blur and I am utterly contradicting myself. I need to settle my emotions first :( really feel like crying man.. this is so shitty. Now what, I have no intention of ignoring or avoiding but natural instinct guided me this way. I have a mental problem and I can't stand it.
why did it have to happen this way..? Everything is just damn wrong.. What happened to wanting things to be normal again? Why is it that you have to come in at this time when things are getting irreversible because I made the decision to give up?
I know this whole thing is illogical.
Its hard because its me, others probably wouldn't care too much.
Please just get over it man Wei Ting.
Talked to yisheng about many things over dinner today.. Its like so natural to HTHT with him I have no idea why. He just kept telling me things haha. But its alright, some people communicate this way I guess. Also don't know why he trusted me so much, we are not that close. Whatever it is, shall wish him all the best and hope his problems get resolved asap.
Hearts to IRC.. If only it could open till 11:30pm for me to study.. I would gladly stay there till its time to catch the last 52 home. Its so hard to study GEK1527. If i have zero knowledge, I would tell myself to go through every single thing. Now that i know most of the things, I am quite lost. Ayee, i guess i will just do practice questions already. no mood to read and re-cap or what. haven study 1101, 1131 and 2227. geography is disaster. I can't apply my knowledge to the questions. Whatever Harvey thought was easy, I did the difficult way. I suck at argumentative essays, I go by intuition and usually, it would mean that it is hard to argue because I am too random and my thoughts are immature. I must not let my heart rule my mind anymore. Its time to let my mind take over my heart decisions. I will probably do well during exams this way.
I hate myself for behaving so abnormally. I am like schizophrenic la. My feelings are too extreme, and I am super confused. Ayee, its very bad if I keep thinking about it. I KEEP THINKING DEEPER INTO AN ISSUE WHEN TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. Words keep replaying in my head when my mind is not occupied with something else. I feel tired thinking but my mind just can't stop thinking. Whats that man? withdrawal symptom? I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.. I have a damn big problem of always torturing myself unnecessarily. WHY SO STUBBORN :( damn this whole incident. Fuck the flu. Argh.. I don't know what to say anymore. FUCK, GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM RIGHT NOW. I still feel angry of god knows what. things are cleared but I can't put it behind me.. every single time, it reminds me of unhappy moments. I fucking can't forgive even though I really want to. Everything is damn big blur and I am utterly contradicting myself. I need to settle my emotions first :( really feel like crying man.. this is so shitty. Now what, I have no intention of ignoring or avoiding but natural instinct guided me this way. I have a mental problem and I can't stand it.
why did it have to happen this way..? Everything is just damn wrong.. What happened to wanting things to be normal again? Why is it that you have to come in at this time when things are getting irreversible because I made the decision to give up?
I know this whole thing is illogical.
Its hard because its me, others probably wouldn't care too much.
Please just get over it man Wei Ting.
00:23
