Sunday, 28 March 2010
If my english is better...
I would probably be able to put my feelings into words in a very apt manner.. I feel sad reading your blog entry.. I nv imagined you liking someone so much, so much till it has changed your life and the way you view the world. Because you have put in so much emotional investment, the unexpected twist has caused you to fall really deep into the bottomless pit, hurt and upset. But being you, I know you would be able to fill up the pit with all your might such that you are able to climb out of the hole and see the light from this world again. Because you are such a fabulous person, because you are so optimistic...
Life has been unfair to you from my perspective.. As much as I really like you and want to help you, I can't.
I visioned myself in your shoes about 2-3 years ago, when I felt so much pain just thinking about a particular person. I wasn't that daring to confess coz I kind of already know what the outcome would be. Just like you or maybe not that similar, i invested so much into a relationship that nv started in the first place. In a way, I was more stupid because I still do it even though I know nothing can come out of it. But I guess it is all over, with time, with a new crush, with friendship that hurts like hell. Mind stops thinking when you are occupied with work, work and more work. Maybe it is how I got over all the pain that seemingly lasted for eternity. Till this point, I wouldn't dare say that i understand what you are going through, but just thinking about your innermost feeling makes tears well up in my eyes. Yes, I am just that easily influenced, overly sensitive and overly sentimental...
To you, i am just a normal friend, someone who encourages.. But there is something different in this friendship from my side.. You are more than just a friend, i don't know how to phrase this, it is not love... just different. I just can't stand that fact that you are flawed.. or that you are helplessly helpless. I want to be there for you but I am not close to you at all. Ahhh, it is just damn complicated. You simply have no idea at all...
I feel like a kid reading your deep thoughts, my feelings are so superficial, so cliche, so childish. I shouldn't complain really.. because it just makes me look stupid. This is hilarious, I am laughing at my immature opinions.
You said you hope that you can write your own story soon.. I wish I could too. But this has to put on hold till better life comes ahead. When will it be my turn? Maybe 20-30 years down the road.. when i am old and unwanted. Meeting my primary school friend today makes me more confident that I can live life on my own and i want to. There is simply no reason, maybe I have nv really trusted love in my whole life before and I nv believed that anything like this will befall on me. I am not being emo here, I am NOT. it is just a fact that i accept. I can't imagine anyone liking me, no one can. everyone is waiting to see which guy is able to tolerate all my nonsense and make me want to stop being so busy. Dreaming is a gift, thats all i need. I know the prev sentence contradicts what I have said so far. Bt it is okie.. because I don't know how to express myself properly anyway.
Thanks friend, for giving me so much motivation to write this entry. Though you will never ever get to see this, I just want to say that I really think that you deserve alot more than what you can ever think of. Because you are just so good in my eyes that any of your flaws are strengths to begin with. Good luck, as i pray that all things work out for you and you end up with someone who love you as much as you do..
I would probably be able to put my feelings into words in a very apt manner.. I feel sad reading your blog entry.. I nv imagined you liking someone so much, so much till it has changed your life and the way you view the world. Because you have put in so much emotional investment, the unexpected twist has caused you to fall really deep into the bottomless pit, hurt and upset. But being you, I know you would be able to fill up the pit with all your might such that you are able to climb out of the hole and see the light from this world again. Because you are such a fabulous person, because you are so optimistic...
Life has been unfair to you from my perspective.. As much as I really like you and want to help you, I can't.
I visioned myself in your shoes about 2-3 years ago, when I felt so much pain just thinking about a particular person. I wasn't that daring to confess coz I kind of already know what the outcome would be. Just like you or maybe not that similar, i invested so much into a relationship that nv started in the first place. In a way, I was more stupid because I still do it even though I know nothing can come out of it. But I guess it is all over, with time, with a new crush, with friendship that hurts like hell. Mind stops thinking when you are occupied with work, work and more work. Maybe it is how I got over all the pain that seemingly lasted for eternity. Till this point, I wouldn't dare say that i understand what you are going through, but just thinking about your innermost feeling makes tears well up in my eyes. Yes, I am just that easily influenced, overly sensitive and overly sentimental...
To you, i am just a normal friend, someone who encourages.. But there is something different in this friendship from my side.. You are more than just a friend, i don't know how to phrase this, it is not love... just different. I just can't stand that fact that you are flawed.. or that you are helplessly helpless. I want to be there for you but I am not close to you at all. Ahhh, it is just damn complicated. You simply have no idea at all...
I feel like a kid reading your deep thoughts, my feelings are so superficial, so cliche, so childish. I shouldn't complain really.. because it just makes me look stupid. This is hilarious, I am laughing at my immature opinions.
You said you hope that you can write your own story soon.. I wish I could too. But this has to put on hold till better life comes ahead. When will it be my turn? Maybe 20-30 years down the road.. when i am old and unwanted. Meeting my primary school friend today makes me more confident that I can live life on my own and i want to. There is simply no reason, maybe I have nv really trusted love in my whole life before and I nv believed that anything like this will befall on me. I am not being emo here, I am NOT. it is just a fact that i accept. I can't imagine anyone liking me, no one can. everyone is waiting to see which guy is able to tolerate all my nonsense and make me want to stop being so busy. Dreaming is a gift, thats all i need. I know the prev sentence contradicts what I have said so far. Bt it is okie.. because I don't know how to express myself properly anyway.
Thanks friend, for giving me so much motivation to write this entry. Though you will never ever get to see this, I just want to say that I really think that you deserve alot more than what you can ever think of. Because you are just so good in my eyes that any of your flaws are strengths to begin with. Good luck, as i pray that all things work out for you and you end up with someone who love you as much as you do..
01:40
