Tuesday, 29 March 2011
3 more reports to go...
RM, FPD and M&E.
Not that I have all the time in the world to come and blog but things have been going alittle too fast and there are many many issues in my head that I have ignored for a really really long time.
Cheerleading competition is over.
Maybe it isn't as fantastic as other groups, but it is a personal achievement that i manage to hit an all-stunt up routine for all my parts. Almost 5-6 months ago, coach was quite unwilling to include me in the national team because first, he didn't think that i was good enough, second, given my weight there is no way that the bases can still fly me during the routine, too shag for them. If not for some of the exco members who still have faith in me and think that I deserve a chance coz I have been working really hard, maybe I would have stopped believing that heavy flyers can fly too and quit cheerleading alr. I admit that I was quite hurt when coach said things that were quite hurting to me. I can't help but to feel that I just somehow have the ability to make ppl dislike me or make them think that I don't like them. Its the same for blast as well. I don't think I am over-sensitive but i learnt not to care too much about ppl who in the first place don't have the right to judge me.
SUAD ended too. Nt sure if it is really really that awesome or ppl just patronize me but i should think it is the former yeah, from the way the crowd responded to the items. Not being able to do ohayguys' item is one of my regrets this year, i gave the chance up for cheerleading. Been sacrificing alot of things for cheerleading, including dance. I am still stuck at wherever I was since last year? Not yet reached the stage of having soul in my dance, i still don't have the stage presence or like my own style. Something which I really want to work on if I have the time. Thanks to all my friends who came down to support me~ I really tried my best on stage and hope i haven disappoint anyone. Still abit disappointed with myself though coz i know I didn't manage to execute all the steps properly.
Cried again and again, each and every time the friend's issue resurfaced. Maybe I haven really get over it. There is always just this disappointment and frustration that once in a while, would get to me when ppl went too deep into the incident. Trying to be indifferent doesn't seem to work sometimes. Ignoring and acting blind are just some of the things I would do to avoid any form of awkward interaction because it is just so not possible to be normal again.
Thanks shihui and cost grp guys. Sorry that I just broke down out of the blue because the feeling just wouldn't go away and I feel so suffocated at those moments.
Random rambling. bye.
RM, FPD and M&E.
Not that I have all the time in the world to come and blog but things have been going alittle too fast and there are many many issues in my head that I have ignored for a really really long time.
Cheerleading competition is over.
Maybe it isn't as fantastic as other groups, but it is a personal achievement that i manage to hit an all-stunt up routine for all my parts. Almost 5-6 months ago, coach was quite unwilling to include me in the national team because first, he didn't think that i was good enough, second, given my weight there is no way that the bases can still fly me during the routine, too shag for them. If not for some of the exco members who still have faith in me and think that I deserve a chance coz I have been working really hard, maybe I would have stopped believing that heavy flyers can fly too and quit cheerleading alr. I admit that I was quite hurt when coach said things that were quite hurting to me. I can't help but to feel that I just somehow have the ability to make ppl dislike me or make them think that I don't like them. Its the same for blast as well. I don't think I am over-sensitive but i learnt not to care too much about ppl who in the first place don't have the right to judge me.
SUAD ended too. Nt sure if it is really really that awesome or ppl just patronize me but i should think it is the former yeah, from the way the crowd responded to the items. Not being able to do ohayguys' item is one of my regrets this year, i gave the chance up for cheerleading. Been sacrificing alot of things for cheerleading, including dance. I am still stuck at wherever I was since last year? Not yet reached the stage of having soul in my dance, i still don't have the stage presence or like my own style. Something which I really want to work on if I have the time. Thanks to all my friends who came down to support me~ I really tried my best on stage and hope i haven disappoint anyone. Still abit disappointed with myself though coz i know I didn't manage to execute all the steps properly.
Cried again and again, each and every time the friend's issue resurfaced. Maybe I haven really get over it. There is always just this disappointment and frustration that once in a while, would get to me when ppl went too deep into the incident. Trying to be indifferent doesn't seem to work sometimes. Ignoring and acting blind are just some of the things I would do to avoid any form of awkward interaction because it is just so not possible to be normal again.
Thanks shihui and cost grp guys. Sorry that I just broke down out of the blue because the feeling just wouldn't go away and I feel so suffocated at those moments.
Random rambling. bye.
20:41
