Thursday, 18 October 2012
Haven flew for the longest time ever.
Realized I am getting less motivated to train so hard for anything at all. I am getting more and more tired each day, rushing projects, worrying about my studies... Haiz I always feel like I am all by myself sometimes. Nobody knows what I am feeling, I need to manage my own emotions as much as possible without being a disturbance to people.
I don't know when I can request to fly more, when I can finally tick off the list of stunts that I want to do. It is not that there are no base who can do with me, I myself lack so much practice that even if I want to do now, I have to get back the stunt feel all over again.
Honestly speaking, I really miss some bases alot. I miss stunting with Jing ge ge, I miss stunting with Terence. But circumstance is really just that I feel their reluctance to do stunts with me sometimes. I understand where they are coming from as well. Jing ge ge's shoulder problem.. I wish he can recover sooner and faster. My 6 months in UK and subsequent lack of communication due to work and everything just blew the relationship away. I can no longer be as close to some friends, and it is just such a pity. The thought of the distance just makes me so upset. The kind of closeness that was established will no longer be reinstated.
I feel like such a lousy friend, or rather someone who is a hi-bye friend to most people.
I wish I can talk to people without having to think so much. I want to be myself. I want to be able to tell everyone very loudly my secret desires and get them fulfilled. I really want to be able to go up to you and tell you how much concern I need and how I wish you could help me with some things, which might be perhaps a little ridiculous.
When will the day come?
Realized I am getting less motivated to train so hard for anything at all. I am getting more and more tired each day, rushing projects, worrying about my studies... Haiz I always feel like I am all by myself sometimes. Nobody knows what I am feeling, I need to manage my own emotions as much as possible without being a disturbance to people.
I don't know when I can request to fly more, when I can finally tick off the list of stunts that I want to do. It is not that there are no base who can do with me, I myself lack so much practice that even if I want to do now, I have to get back the stunt feel all over again.
Honestly speaking, I really miss some bases alot. I miss stunting with Jing ge ge, I miss stunting with Terence. But circumstance is really just that I feel their reluctance to do stunts with me sometimes. I understand where they are coming from as well. Jing ge ge's shoulder problem.. I wish he can recover sooner and faster. My 6 months in UK and subsequent lack of communication due to work and everything just blew the relationship away. I can no longer be as close to some friends, and it is just such a pity. The thought of the distance just makes me so upset. The kind of closeness that was established will no longer be reinstated.
I feel like such a lousy friend, or rather someone who is a hi-bye friend to most people.
I wish I can talk to people without having to think so much. I want to be myself. I want to be able to tell everyone very loudly my secret desires and get them fulfilled. I really want to be able to go up to you and tell you how much concern I need and how I wish you could help me with some things, which might be perhaps a little ridiculous.
When will the day come?
03:15
