Sunday, 29 July 2007
♥ inferior piece of shit
blahh i am back again as usual. i find it a must to trash it out here before i go back to study for my chemistry lecture test tmr.
I AM REALLY STUPID. i feel like shit when answering questions posed by sherhan. i tot i knew what the hell the topic is about, until i realised i can't answer her questions at all. or rather my explanation makes no sense. many people have been telling me that i need to have more confidence in myself. but i dun see why i should have more faith with my intelligience when it is obviously not up to the hwachong standard..
i am really lost, like what should i do to improve my studies? miss claire said i am doing alot betta than people in my class, but is that really what is going on? i am probably one of the lousiest in most subjects like GP, bio and econs. i mean it is not about getting As and Bs.. it is just that i am NOT doing well at all. people were all saying that "oh never mind la, you got so much committments! council, MAD, ballet.. " the thing is that other people also have committments, and they are doing fine. i am just plain dumb. i am an asshole pls.
ARGHHH. why am i so stupid. nincompoop!
i wonder what is my moodswing all about. i tink it is the events that happened that turned me into this emotional freak, bastard who cries easily and have low tolerance for stress. i suck. i suck. i suck big time.
i should just stab myself in the brain, stab myself at the heart, stab and peel all my sense organs so that i feel nothing anymore. i should live in the world for retards. coz i am retarded. the true idiot or moron who shouldn't even be bornt in the first place, making people lie to me, making people comfort me, making people tolerate with all my bullshitty businesses.
simchun told me i have not tried or mayb never tried hard enough. bt i dun even noe if i have tried or unconsciously tried.. or even tried my best becoz i duno how to guage since apparently, there is no results to prove anything.
maybe no one noes what i am toking about, becoz i am not sure if i have make any relevant links in this entry. i can never express myself well enough.. i show it thru actions like crying, throwing stupid tantrums and like getting high for no reason.. actions speak louder than words? indeed actions would mean that the emotions i am feeling are extreme alr...
I AM REALLY STUPID. i feel like shit when answering questions posed by sherhan. i tot i knew what the hell the topic is about, until i realised i can't answer her questions at all. or rather my explanation makes no sense. many people have been telling me that i need to have more confidence in myself. but i dun see why i should have more faith with my intelligience when it is obviously not up to the hwachong standard..
i am really lost, like what should i do to improve my studies? miss claire said i am doing alot betta than people in my class, but is that really what is going on? i am probably one of the lousiest in most subjects like GP, bio and econs. i mean it is not about getting As and Bs.. it is just that i am NOT doing well at all. people were all saying that "oh never mind la, you got so much committments! council, MAD, ballet.. " the thing is that other people also have committments, and they are doing fine. i am just plain dumb. i am an asshole pls.
ARGHHH. why am i so stupid. nincompoop!
i wonder what is my moodswing all about. i tink it is the events that happened that turned me into this emotional freak, bastard who cries easily and have low tolerance for stress. i suck. i suck. i suck big time.
i should just stab myself in the brain, stab myself at the heart, stab and peel all my sense organs so that i feel nothing anymore. i should live in the world for retards. coz i am retarded. the true idiot or moron who shouldn't even be bornt in the first place, making people lie to me, making people comfort me, making people tolerate with all my bullshitty businesses.
simchun told me i have not tried or mayb never tried hard enough. bt i dun even noe if i have tried or unconsciously tried.. or even tried my best becoz i duno how to guage since apparently, there is no results to prove anything.
maybe no one noes what i am toking about, becoz i am not sure if i have make any relevant links in this entry. i can never express myself well enough.. i show it thru actions like crying, throwing stupid tantrums and like getting high for no reason.. actions speak louder than words? indeed actions would mean that the emotions i am feeling are extreme alr...
17:04
