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Sunday, 15 July 2007

♥ stress and angry

haiz.. had been feeling moody today becoz of all the shit that i have to do.

i felt that maybe i cannot be a councillor.. i am not fit to be one.

i am too stupid
i get stressed up far too easily
i can't get things done properly
i dun have a meticulous mind
i procastinate
i duno how to communicate well
i can't lead
i can't cope well
i suck as a person

i really felt very lost and i am feeling really really upset like recently.. there are so many things to be done. prom, ecaco and maf. and so many shit that are going on. i duno how to express how shitty i feel, i duno how to tell anyone coz it doesn't sound the way i feel it. it ended up sounding less than what i am feeling.

my internet connection is screwed up and my brother isn't around. i duno anything about internet. i really felt very bad.. i keep wanting to cry but can't. or maybe i did, with a few drops of tears and no more...

i really hate to be the cheer ic.
i really hate everything tat i am doing
i really hate myself
and i hate it because i noe no matter how much i hate it i still have to do it.

many things are unsettled, if anything screws up i will get screwed.
my tutorials and academic stuff. if miss claire is collecting, i am prepared to be scolded by her.
everything just sucks to the core now. they suck big time.

i am just totally depressed inside out. maybe it is nite time tats why i start to emo.
but i guess, it is not.
it is almost 12 now and i got almost nothing done.
i am really afraid of whats coming tmr.

i am feeling blank now. like not feeling anything.
i noe i am sad bt i just dun feel the same anymore.
izit adapting or i am just inhuman.

i should stop blogging now since i dun feel the need to continue this irrelevant shit.. i hate myself for whatever decisions that i have made for the past 6 months.. because not only have i regretted, i am affected by these decisions and experiencing the aftermath now.

XOXO, hungry! haha (:
23:31


♥ theGrumpyToast ;



      theGrumpyToast is very grumpy. Beware, this toast bites.

      myself!
      * Aquarius [29 January 1990]
      * Guangyang Primary School
      * Proud to be an Andersonian
      * Proud to be a Hwa Chongian

      hearts!
      <3 dancing
      <3 singing
      <3 sleeping
      <3 basketball
      <3 chocolates
      <3 SL-Mercedes
      <3 mahjong
      <3 stay happy and carefree!!!

      most importantly
      <3 My DEAREST family
      <3 MEWII
      <3 1503 and 2504
      <3 5th Anderson Student Council
      <3 HCI 07OG14
      <3 34th Hwa Chong Student Council
      <3 ECACO, PROM, CNY


♥ Thank you

♥ Past rawr-ing