Wednesday, 4 July 2007
♥ what a day
ok, i just felt super stupid.. AND I AM STUPID. =(
ok did many wrong stuff today, and didn't use my brains obviously. Khee Xuan is damn good, he is like leading everyone and all.. i was merely a follower.. and it didn't feel good. not that i hate to be a follower.. but the feeling i got today is totally WRONG.
saw how shimin react to the situation today, i really felt that i have so much, so much to learn. i was panicking, unsure of how to cope with the problem, scared to do anything and ready to yield to the demand of the stranger.. I felt like an total idiot when i am supposed to be rather clear of things that are going on.. yep, "supposed".. i guess i am really stupid..
got back chem paper, was quite happy initially because i got a B, when i only expect at least a C. but come to think of it.. my score isn't good actually, there are so many ppl who did so much betta than i do.. and what makes me upset was the fact that i actually studied quite long for chem.. maybe i wasn't focused enough.. or perhaps i am just plainly dumb, i can't even do well in o lvl and i am here in hwachong.. the dumbest in hwachong with a score of 9. Maybe my choice to study in hwachong is a bad one.. i should have just rejected the DSA successful application and go to Anderson JC instead.. where i am of almost equal standard as the ppl there.. WEI TING YOU SUCK AND YOU INFERIOR PIECE OF SHIT, YOU SHOULD GO ZIBEI AND DIE.
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i will give up the thought soon.. i will and i must because nothing is possible.. i shud just stay where i am now, take a deep breath, forget the hopes and dreams and march on with practicality in mind. really, i should just brush up on my academic work and think NO MORE of THIS.
this chapter of my life shall end.. though full of regrets and unrealised hopes....
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had class dinner today. thanks yibing for organising this.. had fun bao-ing at ISTANA park, with mosquitoes, ants and insects.. 07S78 rawkz..
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i wonder if my luck is used up.. but never mind, it is really time to let go.. just let it go..
ok did many wrong stuff today, and didn't use my brains obviously. Khee Xuan is damn good, he is like leading everyone and all.. i was merely a follower.. and it didn't feel good. not that i hate to be a follower.. but the feeling i got today is totally WRONG.
saw how shimin react to the situation today, i really felt that i have so much, so much to learn. i was panicking, unsure of how to cope with the problem, scared to do anything and ready to yield to the demand of the stranger.. I felt like an total idiot when i am supposed to be rather clear of things that are going on.. yep, "supposed".. i guess i am really stupid..
got back chem paper, was quite happy initially because i got a B, when i only expect at least a C. but come to think of it.. my score isn't good actually, there are so many ppl who did so much betta than i do.. and what makes me upset was the fact that i actually studied quite long for chem.. maybe i wasn't focused enough.. or perhaps i am just plainly dumb, i can't even do well in o lvl and i am here in hwachong.. the dumbest in hwachong with a score of 9. Maybe my choice to study in hwachong is a bad one.. i should have just rejected the DSA successful application and go to Anderson JC instead.. where i am of almost equal standard as the ppl there.. WEI TING YOU SUCK AND YOU INFERIOR PIECE OF SHIT, YOU SHOULD GO ZIBEI AND DIE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
i will give up the thought soon.. i will and i must because nothing is possible.. i shud just stay where i am now, take a deep breath, forget the hopes and dreams and march on with practicality in mind. really, i should just brush up on my academic work and think NO MORE of THIS.
this chapter of my life shall end.. though full of regrets and unrealised hopes....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
had class dinner today. thanks yibing for organising this.. had fun bao-ing at ISTANA park, with mosquitoes, ants and insects.. 07S78 rawkz..
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i wonder if my luck is used up.. but never mind, it is really time to let go.. just let it go..
00:19
