Tuesday, 8 April 2008
♥ sad
i have been feeling sad all over again, still over some of the past issues..
1) My grades suck
2) I feel stupid
3) I am unhappy being a CHIC
4) I am freaking inconfident of impromptu speeches/prep talk
5) I speak like some pri school kid with lotsa grammar errors and wrong use of words
6) I dance like crap
7) I freaking can't bring myself to work harder to improve myself
8) I am so vulgar that ppl can't stand me
9) I keep getting high over no reason and start to molest guys and girls ><
10) I miss council/councillors
11) I am too arrogant about my own capabilities
12) I can't make it for dance night practices
13) I dun really have people that i can talk to face-to-face over some problems i face
14) I am damn fat and lazy recently
15) I freaking can't finish my homework/tutorials on time coz i am damn tired still.
of course more to list >< I have been really reckless/vulgar/frustrated for many many days and i really duno why am i so pissed with! I just felt that there is this feeling at my heart that makes me feel super tied down and is suffocating me.. maybe because i feel that i am a big loser in all aspects, maybe i just felt that everything would work out better for me if i know how to manage time and know how to grab hold of opportunities.
i suck to the core ><>< sian after that i just felt like i dun wan to prep talk anymore and just focus on chanting/cheering. thanks stanley for encouraging me and helping me out for most of the cheering sessions. and yeah jiinshiuan too, i tink i am dead without her.. she is freaking good i am serious :) thank you all councillors for cheering today, benpoh and xuanyi for their nice prep talk, i am glad they are willing to prep talk after much persuasion coz seriously only the high school guys know the milestones that HC waterpolo team has created, ppl like me wouldn't have known much coz i myself didn't experience any shit at all, so i sounded less convincing + the fact that i was saying all the wrong things like " cheer for your team mates " when those supporters are not from polo. ahh wadever, i am just plain dumb and stupid with all my expressions and things that i want to put across to ppl. yeah, president huh? haha i wonder why ppl tink i can make it man.
wadever.. now come to think about it, i still tink i screwed CNY, presentation during expose/eleco camp. I freaking screwed every shit that i should have done better. haiz, i really can't speak properly for nuts.
haiz watever.. i am damn tired alr.. gonna go rest.
1) My grades suck
2) I feel stupid
3) I am unhappy being a CHIC
4) I am freaking inconfident of impromptu speeches/prep talk
5) I speak like some pri school kid with lotsa grammar errors and wrong use of words
6) I dance like crap
7) I freaking can't bring myself to work harder to improve myself
8) I am so vulgar that ppl can't stand me
9) I keep getting high over no reason and start to molest guys and girls ><
10) I miss council/councillors
11) I am too arrogant about my own capabilities
12) I can't make it for dance night practices
13) I dun really have people that i can talk to face-to-face over some problems i face
14) I am damn fat and lazy recently
15) I freaking can't finish my homework/tutorials on time coz i am damn tired still.
of course more to list >< I have been really reckless/vulgar/frustrated for many many days and i really duno why am i so pissed with! I just felt that there is this feeling at my heart that makes me feel super tied down and is suffocating me.. maybe because i feel that i am a big loser in all aspects, maybe i just felt that everything would work out better for me if i know how to manage time and know how to grab hold of opportunities.
i suck to the core ><>< sian after that i just felt like i dun wan to prep talk anymore and just focus on chanting/cheering. thanks stanley for encouraging me and helping me out for most of the cheering sessions. and yeah jiinshiuan too, i tink i am dead without her.. she is freaking good i am serious :) thank you all councillors for cheering today, benpoh and xuanyi for their nice prep talk, i am glad they are willing to prep talk after much persuasion coz seriously only the high school guys know the milestones that HC waterpolo team has created, ppl like me wouldn't have known much coz i myself didn't experience any shit at all, so i sounded less convincing + the fact that i was saying all the wrong things like " cheer for your team mates " when those supporters are not from polo. ahh wadever, i am just plain dumb and stupid with all my expressions and things that i want to put across to ppl. yeah, president huh? haha i wonder why ppl tink i can make it man.
wadever.. now come to think about it, i still tink i screwed CNY, presentation during expose/eleco camp. I freaking screwed every shit that i should have done better. haiz, i really can't speak properly for nuts.
haiz watever.. i am damn tired alr.. gonna go rest.
20:56
