Thursday, 17 September 2009
♥ ?!
Things are getting rather strange recently.. I feel that I lose my cheerful disposition very quickly, i get affected by trivial matters tremendously and everything's just so wrong so wrong... As usual, my mood changes like the weather nowadays. I am trying so very hard not to let myself sit on an emotional roller coaster ride, but sometimes i just can't help feeling upset and lonely over and over again...
I can't recognise myself anymore :( maybe this is what over-reliance is doing to me.. getting back to my comfort zone once again has made me weaker.. there is totally zero improvement in my character and thoughts. Geog tutorial class today has made me reflect, of course not about the politcal ecology issues but rather how childish and shallow I am. I should really stop telling myself that I want to be a kid. Grow up girl.. you need to start exploring and understanding the worldly issues.. you need have your own well-thought out opinions. Learn to grow up, please..
I find it harder to open my mouth too.. I really dun wish to burden anyone with my problems. Life has been good enough to me thus far, i really shouldn't expect too much.. be happy with what i've got, be contented with whatever that has come.. I have no right to be greedy and selfish. Who am i in the first place? nothing..
I didn't mean to write such a post again.. but school life is really depressing. I am really not enjoying myself. There is nothing for me to look forward to, other than meeting up with the bunch of nice friends i have.. even blast! seems to be so distant from my passion. The everyday disappointment is suffocating me, which probably explains why i am perpetually tired in school. Its so hard to keep the energy level high. Maybe being silent would do me good.. I can stop being this crazy outgoing friend and go for a quiet, low profile character.. I am drained.. like life totally sucked out from me.. this sucks big time.
MAF is coming.. I wasn't as excited as I thought i would be. Maybe when the time comes, i would have a 180degree change in attitude and feelings.
I am tired. I am exhausted. I need a good deep sound slp..
I can't recognise myself anymore :( maybe this is what over-reliance is doing to me.. getting back to my comfort zone once again has made me weaker.. there is totally zero improvement in my character and thoughts. Geog tutorial class today has made me reflect, of course not about the politcal ecology issues but rather how childish and shallow I am. I should really stop telling myself that I want to be a kid. Grow up girl.. you need to start exploring and understanding the worldly issues.. you need have your own well-thought out opinions. Learn to grow up, please..
I find it harder to open my mouth too.. I really dun wish to burden anyone with my problems. Life has been good enough to me thus far, i really shouldn't expect too much.. be happy with what i've got, be contented with whatever that has come.. I have no right to be greedy and selfish. Who am i in the first place? nothing..
I didn't mean to write such a post again.. but school life is really depressing. I am really not enjoying myself. There is nothing for me to look forward to, other than meeting up with the bunch of nice friends i have.. even blast! seems to be so distant from my passion. The everyday disappointment is suffocating me, which probably explains why i am perpetually tired in school. Its so hard to keep the energy level high. Maybe being silent would do me good.. I can stop being this crazy outgoing friend and go for a quiet, low profile character.. I am drained.. like life totally sucked out from me.. this sucks big time.
MAF is coming.. I wasn't as excited as I thought i would be. Maybe when the time comes, i would have a 180degree change in attitude and feelings.
I am tired. I am exhausted. I need a good deep sound slp..
23:19
