Saturday, 21 November 2009
♥ damn it
I still have so much things undone and trust me, I am feeling hopeless.
I don't know if I understood or remembered what I have read through.. as in I think I know, but when the questions come, I don't know if I could answer them. Everything is like a damn big **** and I feel extremely sad that I have to be involved in these.
I guess first semester in university is like this. You are clueless about how exams are like even though everyone is supposedly damn good in taking exams already. It is so very different you know, like there is practically no drilling of questions (unlike o levels and a levels), you don't know what to expect a.k.a pf1102, pf1101 (who the hell knows what prof low looks out for in your exam scripts, you don't even get to see your answers once you submit that darn paper). There is no such thing as model answer to follow, everything is your own interpretation, like nature and society huh? Just read the reading that says practice of sustainable development depends on how one perceives the environment and thus interacts with it, similar to how one interprets word "nature". Okie, i sound like I am damn pro or what but i am not seriously. I sound like i studied damn alot and studied like hell but the fact is I don't think so and i don't know.
I am feeling tired, hence this entry. gonna continue with genes and society like finishing up the papers I have yet to do and maybe try memorizing the different scientists and their wonderful contribution to the biotechnology arena. I like science, you know questions can't deviate very much from the facts. You know means you know, if not you can derive from trying to link as much sense to it as possible from what you already know. Technical subjects like PF modules, you are screwed once you don't know. Get it? There is no such thing as LINK, especially pf1102. All algorithm, i love and hate it at the same time.
Okie i am getting all confused because my brain fused. I am getting insomnia almost every freaking night now, thanks alot my brain. Eh brain, please think when you are required and don't think when you are not needed. You are like a separate realm from my physical and mental self. Cooperate more okie?!
Exam period makes me damn unhygienic and fat. Thus the "unglam" and reduction in weight because muscles oxidized to fats and I am eating hell lot more than ever to keep myself rejuvenated and awake.
Been going online more often because I feel suffocated. I refuse to go and run or do something else outdoor because I will feel that it's damn waste of time.
Oh, and my grandmother is hospitalised again, 2 days after she was discharged from hospital the previous time. I haven visited her for many months, i will make it a point to visit after examination. I don't like the feeling of being unfilial. But sometimes I just can't help but to think in certain ways about my parents, siblings and grandparents and the way they do things. I am not a very family-orientated person but I still agree that family is important. Its just the way I was brought up yah? Make me don't believe in marriage and somewhat relationship as well? Not that I have been in one yet but its quite daunting to imagine my whole world revolving around one person and suddenly this world just crumbles with a "lets break up" from the guy. But okie, its pointless to talk about all these. I am just trying to escape from the fact that I need to continue to mug. haha.
Was talking to xuanyu about commitment stuff. Aye like I don't know if I should be the dance head for rag if weixuan or someone else in the committee ask me to consider. I want to try for rag vice head but ccas are making me scared of doing something that I really want. I suck at time management and prioritising stuff but I always want to do alot of things. Thats really contradictory. I need to try to learn but my pessimistic mentality makes it super difficult la. I am not a cool-headed person I feel, my decisions are very much affected by my emotions. this whole thing just doesn't complement one another so my conclusion is I am a very confusing person as a whole.
Okie, enough grumbling, this can go on as long as I want but mugging first yeah? JIAYOU and BUCK UP MAN.
I don't know if I understood or remembered what I have read through.. as in I think I know, but when the questions come, I don't know if I could answer them. Everything is like a damn big **** and I feel extremely sad that I have to be involved in these.
I guess first semester in university is like this. You are clueless about how exams are like even though everyone is supposedly damn good in taking exams already. It is so very different you know, like there is practically no drilling of questions (unlike o levels and a levels), you don't know what to expect a.k.a pf1102, pf1101 (who the hell knows what prof low looks out for in your exam scripts, you don't even get to see your answers once you submit that darn paper). There is no such thing as model answer to follow, everything is your own interpretation, like nature and society huh? Just read the reading that says practice of sustainable development depends on how one perceives the environment and thus interacts with it, similar to how one interprets word "nature". Okie, i sound like I am damn pro or what but i am not seriously. I sound like i studied damn alot and studied like hell but the fact is I don't think so and i don't know.
I am feeling tired, hence this entry. gonna continue with genes and society like finishing up the papers I have yet to do and maybe try memorizing the different scientists and their wonderful contribution to the biotechnology arena. I like science, you know questions can't deviate very much from the facts. You know means you know, if not you can derive from trying to link as much sense to it as possible from what you already know. Technical subjects like PF modules, you are screwed once you don't know. Get it? There is no such thing as LINK, especially pf1102. All algorithm, i love and hate it at the same time.
Okie i am getting all confused because my brain fused. I am getting insomnia almost every freaking night now, thanks alot my brain. Eh brain, please think when you are required and don't think when you are not needed. You are like a separate realm from my physical and mental self. Cooperate more okie?!
Exam period makes me damn unhygienic and fat. Thus the "unglam" and reduction in weight because muscles oxidized to fats and I am eating hell lot more than ever to keep myself rejuvenated and awake.
Been going online more often because I feel suffocated. I refuse to go and run or do something else outdoor because I will feel that it's damn waste of time.
Oh, and my grandmother is hospitalised again, 2 days after she was discharged from hospital the previous time. I haven visited her for many months, i will make it a point to visit after examination. I don't like the feeling of being unfilial. But sometimes I just can't help but to think in certain ways about my parents, siblings and grandparents and the way they do things. I am not a very family-orientated person but I still agree that family is important. Its just the way I was brought up yah? Make me don't believe in marriage and somewhat relationship as well? Not that I have been in one yet but its quite daunting to imagine my whole world revolving around one person and suddenly this world just crumbles with a "lets break up" from the guy. But okie, its pointless to talk about all these. I am just trying to escape from the fact that I need to continue to mug. haha.
Was talking to xuanyu about commitment stuff. Aye like I don't know if I should be the dance head for rag if weixuan or someone else in the committee ask me to consider. I want to try for rag vice head but ccas are making me scared of doing something that I really want. I suck at time management and prioritising stuff but I always want to do alot of things. Thats really contradictory. I need to try to learn but my pessimistic mentality makes it super difficult la. I am not a cool-headed person I feel, my decisions are very much affected by my emotions. this whole thing just doesn't complement one another so my conclusion is I am a very confusing person as a whole.
Okie, enough grumbling, this can go on as long as I want but mugging first yeah? JIAYOU and BUCK UP MAN.
17:08
