Tuesday, 31 August 2010
♥ When time waits for no man...
I was awoke by an sms this morning (30 August) and when I read the sms, I really thought that someone was playing a trick on me or my eyes are seeing the wrong things... Bt the news that you have passed away was just so so sudden.
I didn't know what to feel, or how I should feel because this is the first time I am experiencing death of a friend. Alot of thoughts ran through my mind and I was still in a daze because I just don't know what I should feel. I broke the news to my sister and Adriel Lam because he called me earlier but I wasn't awake yet.
The news only sank in when I was alone on the bus journey to school. Random memories pop in my head, I started thinking about the secondary school days, about how much you have helped me recently and the little chats I had with you online... I really really regretted for procrastinating the weekend visit, or rather I kinda forgot about it because I was busy trying to get my keypad repaired and stuff plus I didn't receive any sms from you so yup, that gave me all the reasons to drag the visit because I thought I still have time. Your departure seriously make me feel that life is short and I should really treasure all the times I had, whether is it shitty or good. I am sorry to my friends today because I was just feeling quite disappointed with myself and also because I was really upset. I chose to ignore the sad feeling and continue on with my activities so that I wouldn't tear and cry and show people my emotions unnecessarily. I tried to be objective and mature over this issue but I think I failed terribly because as I am typing this, I am like tearing already. I hate myself because I actually didn't get to see you the last time before you left...
I still rmb how I first met you in Anderson. It was 1/5 and you were sitting on my left, one row diagonally behind me, with kenneth as your table partner. When you introduce yourself as "ping kee", I was seriously thinking whether that was your real name coz it sounded very female. You were always smiling and laughing and everyone rmb you the fastest because your name is so unique. We became closer in just a few days because we chatted online like every other day and you were quite engaging and nice. I rmb on my birthday, because you know I like stefanie sun, you bought me her latest album then - 未完成. This resulted in some rumours and yaadayaada and being someone immature then, I actually chose the most extreme method to face you and instantly you became my enemy. The turning point was due to some truth or dare game or something and because of your answer, the next day people started spreading that you like me, like wildfire and I was really quite pissed, for what i also don't know. My main reason was really I hated guys i think. I sort of remember we kind of had some confession thing in our chat and if I didn't recall wrongly, you said that you think I am like the prettiest in class or something. haha, but because of that enemy incident or whatever the case, you never ever admit that you said that before. I know it is abit too late to apologize for all the stupid things I did last time, but I know deep down inside, we all have forgiven each other for all the meaningless stuff we did - the quarrels, the glares etc. And I admit, I also think that you are quite good looking and had some feelings for you on several occasions but I just somehow manage to psycho myself to ignore that feeling yah. I was an idiot seriously.
Somehow, we manage to become friends again and we ended in the same class for 4 years in anderson. We were both in council as well. I always think that you were very irritating because of the way you answer questions or say certain things. You were sitting directly behind me in our sec 4 class. Everytime irritate me with something stupid but I can't really recall what thing already. But the horny-ness remains. You, kenneth, lai weihong and marcus talk about something dirty and when i turn over to listen to what you guys were talking about, you all will say 快点把裤子拉紧一点，炜婷horny liao. That always made me laugh like mad really. Oh, I rmb you were a science freak, sec 1 that time science teacher ask ppl to volunteer to be the rep and you were one of the few who raised up the hand super fast, together with yungyi and kenneth I think. Yah, I always rmb all these kind of super super small things so yup.
Your liking for basketball and sports, really, respect. You could play most sports quite well. I rmb there was a time when we were all quite crazy over table tennis. After lesson end, we will play at the table on level 1 outside the glass exhibition. That was when I picked up the skill and played. Haha, i can't believe marcus and myself beat you and kumboon during the April Games because I was such a noob and you and kumboon play quite well really.
There was just so many so many incidents and stories, I rmb taking a picture with you during one of the christmas outing that 4/7 had but I lost that photo already because I formatted my fone and my laptop crashed on several occasions. Haiz, the time I visited you at TTS hospital when you were undergoing chemo for the 2nd time.. The change was really quite drastic and I really feel the pain for you. For someone who loves outdoor sports, it was just so unfair for you to suffer all these. I had a good chat with you even though you are not exactly feeling very well, there were several occasions when we promised each other to go out after you recover, to run, to catch a movie and you will treat me... but all these will never happen again. I truly regret nt having spend more time with you, for putting you at a lower priority.
I will never ever forget you pingkee. For being such a great guy who was once eccentric to me, for being the greatest magician I have seen so far but refuse to teach me anything =x, for being such a nice guy, listening to my sorrows, chatting with me when I was feeling upset, helping me to find nice songs for SDE Rag 2010... I really regretted for not being able to talk to you one last time before you left. You were really strong, fighting the stupid cancer, telling us not to worry about you when you were really dying from the pain... I really hope that wherever you are now, you would be able to see this entry that is so super overdued... I really thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being so considerate and all. I wish that you are now in somewhere better, where u feel no pain and suffering. I also know that you will be looking after all your family members and friends because you are just so nice.
Once my friend, always my friend pingkee. My deepest condolences to your family as well.
I didn't know what to feel, or how I should feel because this is the first time I am experiencing death of a friend. Alot of thoughts ran through my mind and I was still in a daze because I just don't know what I should feel. I broke the news to my sister and Adriel Lam because he called me earlier but I wasn't awake yet.
The news only sank in when I was alone on the bus journey to school. Random memories pop in my head, I started thinking about the secondary school days, about how much you have helped me recently and the little chats I had with you online... I really really regretted for procrastinating the weekend visit, or rather I kinda forgot about it because I was busy trying to get my keypad repaired and stuff plus I didn't receive any sms from you so yup, that gave me all the reasons to drag the visit because I thought I still have time. Your departure seriously make me feel that life is short and I should really treasure all the times I had, whether is it shitty or good. I am sorry to my friends today because I was just feeling quite disappointed with myself and also because I was really upset. I chose to ignore the sad feeling and continue on with my activities so that I wouldn't tear and cry and show people my emotions unnecessarily. I tried to be objective and mature over this issue but I think I failed terribly because as I am typing this, I am like tearing already. I hate myself because I actually didn't get to see you the last time before you left...
I still rmb how I first met you in Anderson. It was 1/5 and you were sitting on my left, one row diagonally behind me, with kenneth as your table partner. When you introduce yourself as "ping kee", I was seriously thinking whether that was your real name coz it sounded very female. You were always smiling and laughing and everyone rmb you the fastest because your name is so unique. We became closer in just a few days because we chatted online like every other day and you were quite engaging and nice. I rmb on my birthday, because you know I like stefanie sun, you bought me her latest album then - 未完成. This resulted in some rumours and yaadayaada and being someone immature then, I actually chose the most extreme method to face you and instantly you became my enemy. The turning point was due to some truth or dare game or something and because of your answer, the next day people started spreading that you like me, like wildfire and I was really quite pissed, for what i also don't know. My main reason was really I hated guys i think. I sort of remember we kind of had some confession thing in our chat and if I didn't recall wrongly, you said that you think I am like the prettiest in class or something. haha, but because of that enemy incident or whatever the case, you never ever admit that you said that before. I know it is abit too late to apologize for all the stupid things I did last time, but I know deep down inside, we all have forgiven each other for all the meaningless stuff we did - the quarrels, the glares etc. And I admit, I also think that you are quite good looking and had some feelings for you on several occasions but I just somehow manage to psycho myself to ignore that feeling yah. I was an idiot seriously.
Somehow, we manage to become friends again and we ended in the same class for 4 years in anderson. We were both in council as well. I always think that you were very irritating because of the way you answer questions or say certain things. You were sitting directly behind me in our sec 4 class. Everytime irritate me with something stupid but I can't really recall what thing already. But the horny-ness remains. You, kenneth, lai weihong and marcus talk about something dirty and when i turn over to listen to what you guys were talking about, you all will say 快点把裤子拉紧一点，炜婷horny liao. That always made me laugh like mad really. Oh, I rmb you were a science freak, sec 1 that time science teacher ask ppl to volunteer to be the rep and you were one of the few who raised up the hand super fast, together with yungyi and kenneth I think. Yah, I always rmb all these kind of super super small things so yup.
Your liking for basketball and sports, really, respect. You could play most sports quite well. I rmb there was a time when we were all quite crazy over table tennis. After lesson end, we will play at the table on level 1 outside the glass exhibition. That was when I picked up the skill and played. Haha, i can't believe marcus and myself beat you and kumboon during the April Games because I was such a noob and you and kumboon play quite well really.
There was just so many so many incidents and stories, I rmb taking a picture with you during one of the christmas outing that 4/7 had but I lost that photo already because I formatted my fone and my laptop crashed on several occasions. Haiz, the time I visited you at TTS hospital when you were undergoing chemo for the 2nd time.. The change was really quite drastic and I really feel the pain for you. For someone who loves outdoor sports, it was just so unfair for you to suffer all these. I had a good chat with you even though you are not exactly feeling very well, there were several occasions when we promised each other to go out after you recover, to run, to catch a movie and you will treat me... but all these will never happen again. I truly regret nt having spend more time with you, for putting you at a lower priority.
I will never ever forget you pingkee. For being such a great guy who was once eccentric to me, for being the greatest magician I have seen so far but refuse to teach me anything =x, for being such a nice guy, listening to my sorrows, chatting with me when I was feeling upset, helping me to find nice songs for SDE Rag 2010... I really regretted for not being able to talk to you one last time before you left. You were really strong, fighting the stupid cancer, telling us not to worry about you when you were really dying from the pain... I really hope that wherever you are now, you would be able to see this entry that is so super overdued... I really thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being so considerate and all. I wish that you are now in somewhere better, where u feel no pain and suffering. I also know that you will be looking after all your family members and friends because you are just so nice.
Once my friend, always my friend pingkee. My deepest condolences to your family as well.
04:18
