Saturday, 4 September 2010
♥ Maxed out
This week has been really horrible. I kinda wasn't really in the mood to do anything. I feel the stress yes, I feel that school work is starting to pile up, I still feel upset whenever I think about you pingkee, and then I will go to your facebook to read all the messages that your friends have written for you... Gahhh, my face is like blemished la. It could be due to my RVR room or because the stress level is really insane :( go away go away!
Totally didn't go and run after training today coz it was really late already by the time the talk ended at 12:12am. Had late dinner/supper - McSpicy that i bought in the evening before training. I wonder what's my weight now.. anyway I am quite surprised that I could actually run 6 rounds without stopping. I wonder if it is because I run at night and the cooling weather improved my stamina, or because my stamina improved due to some reason. Bt never mind, I should have the discipline to try to keep up with my plans. I hope I am still 56kg, and I will try to reach my initial target of 55kg soon, then I will move on to 50 and lesser, like hopefully.
Totally didn't go to blast! mini orientation camp today. Gave myself lots of excuses and spent the whole of my saturday slping, washing mats with alphas and chatting with william, mathan and xuan. I am just such a CB, keep procrastinating my work and do everything except my school work :( Chill too much already but I think I really need it anyway. Had abit of beer at munchie monkey. and good that no allergy yet, just feel slpy all over again. William is really quite nice and friendly. He is abit like the male version of my inferiority complex, probably why I find it easier to click with him. Just hope that he can find the right person soon, someone who really appreciate him for who he is.
Was emo over several things last week. The worse one left a few more stabs straight into my heart - I feel damn pathetic, I feel like a loser, I feel unwanted all over again. This has to happen every single time. Perhaps, it is just meant to be this way that I get stepped on till I become immune to things. People always resort to this manner to handle me, to kill me, to let me down, to watch me fall. I really don't deserve all these yah. but what can i do? because I m just born to be treated this way, ever since I start to know what feeling is all about.
Totally didn't go and run after training today coz it was really late already by the time the talk ended at 12:12am. Had late dinner/supper - McSpicy that i bought in the evening before training. I wonder what's my weight now.. anyway I am quite surprised that I could actually run 6 rounds without stopping. I wonder if it is because I run at night and the cooling weather improved my stamina, or because my stamina improved due to some reason. Bt never mind, I should have the discipline to try to keep up with my plans. I hope I am still 56kg, and I will try to reach my initial target of 55kg soon, then I will move on to 50 and lesser, like hopefully.
Totally didn't go to blast! mini orientation camp today. Gave myself lots of excuses and spent the whole of my saturday slping, washing mats with alphas and chatting with william, mathan and xuan. I am just such a CB, keep procrastinating my work and do everything except my school work :( Chill too much already but I think I really need it anyway. Had abit of beer at munchie monkey. and good that no allergy yet, just feel slpy all over again. William is really quite nice and friendly. He is abit like the male version of my inferiority complex, probably why I find it easier to click with him. Just hope that he can find the right person soon, someone who really appreciate him for who he is.
Was emo over several things last week. The worse one left a few more stabs straight into my heart - I feel damn pathetic, I feel like a loser, I feel unwanted all over again. This has to happen every single time. Perhaps, it is just meant to be this way that I get stepped on till I become immune to things. People always resort to this manner to handle me, to kill me, to let me down, to watch me fall. I really don't deserve all these yah. but what can i do? because I m just born to be treated this way, ever since I start to know what feeling is all about.
03:24
