Friday, 28 October 2011
♥ hurts
maybe no one knows how important stunts up mean to me, especially things like group stunts and single stunts.
today is simply horrible. I swear I almost cried on the mats during the last rehearsal when the toss to hands failed again. Why must this happen to me all the time. My jump is not powerful at all. I gotta train until I can jump to my base's chest myself yeah? because i am simply too hard to toss high. I gotta push over my limits and break the limits and keep breaking the limits until my leg breaks yah. If this is how a flyer should train in order to compensate for her weight, then I guess its just too bad.
I guess it is not about training hard and eating smart. It is about extremities. I am swearing off anything that will make me gain unnecessary calories from now on and I am damn fucking serious about it.
Can't really take anymore of this for now. I can never ever depend on others at all. I never cried over this issue for the longest time ever, but today is just too much. Why did I even have high expectations in the first place. I deserve it seriously, to feel disappointed and like a fucking fat idiot.
Fucked up. Fucked up.
today is simply horrible. I swear I almost cried on the mats during the last rehearsal when the toss to hands failed again. Why must this happen to me all the time. My jump is not powerful at all. I gotta train until I can jump to my base's chest myself yeah? because i am simply too hard to toss high. I gotta push over my limits and break the limits and keep breaking the limits until my leg breaks yah. If this is how a flyer should train in order to compensate for her weight, then I guess its just too bad.
I guess it is not about training hard and eating smart. It is about extremities. I am swearing off anything that will make me gain unnecessary calories from now on and I am damn fucking serious about it.
Can't really take anymore of this for now. I can never ever depend on others at all. I never cried over this issue for the longest time ever, but today is just too much. Why did I even have high expectations in the first place. I deserve it seriously, to feel disappointed and like a fucking fat idiot.
Fucked up. Fucked up.
01:05
