Saturday, 9 February 2013
♥ The feeling of disappointment
I guess it is difficult to not feel being blamed for a stunt that is not up when you have your coach telling everybody that the stunt could have been saved if I had done certain things.
I know the stunt hit rate is not high, I am learning how to cushion the freaking trophy and catching every one of them like it's my last. Its not like I am not trying my best. Sometimes, it is not the physical pain that kills, its the psychological disappointment and pain that hurts the most. And it is this type of pain that makes me cry the longest. It has been quite some time since I experienced this. This is what I hated about Alpha cheerleading sometimes. We are a family, but the value of family is not held in the same view by some people.
I really can choose to go back home and complete my thesis instead of spending my time at training getting flamed at though it may or may not be on purpose. I know the expectations are high, I expected alot out from myself as well, not just you. Encouraging culture? I am pretty damn sure it doesn't sound like that.
I know the stunt hit rate is not high, I am learning how to cushion the freaking trophy and catching every one of them like it's my last. Its not like I am not trying my best. Sometimes, it is not the physical pain that kills, its the psychological disappointment and pain that hurts the most. And it is this type of pain that makes me cry the longest. It has been quite some time since I experienced this. This is what I hated about Alpha cheerleading sometimes. We are a family, but the value of family is not held in the same view by some people.
I really can choose to go back home and complete my thesis instead of spending my time at training getting flamed at though it may or may not be on purpose. I know the expectations are high, I expected alot out from myself as well, not just you. Encouraging culture? I am pretty damn sure it doesn't sound like that.
04:09
