Sunday, 24 February 2013
♥ when working hard is a team work
There are many things in the world that I can work hard for and see the results of the hard work based on the effort I put in. 1 for 1, just and fair.
In cheerleading, its not. I have to learn to trust and be dependent on other people i.e my bases to make things work for me. It really doesn't matter if I have the most fantastic stretch in the team, because if I don't practice with my base, the stretch is useless. There are many things that I work hard for but push myself so hard that I get all the physical injuries. People don't appreciate the effort that I put in and don't see the hard work. If I stop doing things because I am in pain, people will just think I am trying to eat snake or I don't want it badly enough. I learn that I can't show my pain, acting like everything is ok is the only thing that is expected.
What I don't like is how I feel Coach is unwilling to believe in my ability enough no matter what I do. He is just more willing to believe in others than to believe in me. I just have to accept this fact that "I am not as good as other people".
Anyway, I don't think I am gonna fly at all in btoss or partner stunts in this nationals routine again. Btoss, I have no choice but to blame my shoulder for impeding in my progress. It was definitely possible for me to do a X-out or even X-out full. Arabian or even arabian full. But simply because no one believes that I can do it, and they are unwilling to train me, I just have to suck it up again. So tell me, work hard does it really mean anything? People with all those chances, they really don't appreciate it as much as I do until the chance is taken away from them. So much chance to try, but refusing to just hit it. Haiz nvm. I can only blame myself, for the fucking useless shoulder and my fucking weight and my fucking luck.
In cheerleading, its not. I have to learn to trust and be dependent on other people i.e my bases to make things work for me. It really doesn't matter if I have the most fantastic stretch in the team, because if I don't practice with my base, the stretch is useless. There are many things that I work hard for but push myself so hard that I get all the physical injuries. People don't appreciate the effort that I put in and don't see the hard work. If I stop doing things because I am in pain, people will just think I am trying to eat snake or I don't want it badly enough. I learn that I can't show my pain, acting like everything is ok is the only thing that is expected.
What I don't like is how I feel Coach is unwilling to believe in my ability enough no matter what I do. He is just more willing to believe in others than to believe in me. I just have to accept this fact that "I am not as good as other people".
Anyway, I don't think I am gonna fly at all in btoss or partner stunts in this nationals routine again. Btoss, I have no choice but to blame my shoulder for impeding in my progress. It was definitely possible for me to do a X-out or even X-out full. Arabian or even arabian full. But simply because no one believes that I can do it, and they are unwilling to train me, I just have to suck it up again. So tell me, work hard does it really mean anything? People with all those chances, they really don't appreciate it as much as I do until the chance is taken away from them. So much chance to try, but refusing to just hit it. Haiz nvm. I can only blame myself, for the fucking useless shoulder and my fucking weight and my fucking luck.
04:39
